21-year-old college student constantly steals from fraternities, ices out roommate who wants her to return the stolen items: 'Your roommate is a literal criminal'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 22, 2025 10:00 PM EST

College is a time when it's socially acceptable to be a little bit ~crazy~. We've sanctioned it as a time in a young adult's life when you're expected to party too much and make some regrettable decisions. Whether you like it or not, this is how a lot of people treat college in the popular consciousness. But there are limits to that kind of bad behavior. We don't have to accept all the wiles of a college kid just because they're a college kid. They're still old enough to know better, after all. 

You certainly don't have to put up with it from your friends. You get to choose your friends, so you get to decide how much buffoonery you will tolerate. Maybe you will tolerate a lot of it. Maybe you're a party animal at heart, and anything goes around you. Or maybe you're more mature than that. What matters is that you find friends who can go at your own speed. One college woman's friends weren't quite her own speed, and they were all learning that toward the end of their time together. 

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  • Two college students pose for a picture at a party.
    via Gabriel Martin

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One of her roommates' tendencies to steal started to rub her the wrong way. She saw it for what it was: disrespectful. The stealing roommate saw it as harmless fun. So they were both left wondering which one of them was in the wrong. Read on for the whole story and see what you think. 

  • AITA for calling my roommate out for hanging up stolen property in our house?

    Hey everyone. I'm really at a loss here because my roommate situation has gotten a little more tense than usual this weekend. I (21F) live with three other girls that go to my college (All 21F). We became very good friends in our sophomore year of college. We are now all seniors and are definitely more focused on our studies than hanging out.
    via u/Alternative_Ice904
  • I personally don't like going out to the bars because Im not one for drinking due to family history. I also don't join them because one of my roommates in particular (I'll call her Hannah) tends to get hammered and act crazy when we go out. I'm talking like she regularly gets sent home from parties/bars.
    via u/Alternative_Ice904
  • Her recent kick has been stealing from frat houses. My long term bf is in a fraternity and I'm close with all of the guys there, so I don't really condone this. She always steals something small, like a fridge magnet or a cup from the cabinet. Every time I tell her off and say how I don't think that's funny and she shouldn't disrespect them by stealing their
    via u/Alternative_Ice904
  • items. On Thursday, she was telling me about how she really wanted to steal something from every frat at our school as a bucket list for senior year. I told her again how against that I was, about how its wrong to steal, how at this point I will be very angry if she does it again. She claims that its fine because "they're just frat guys" or "I'm not taking anything important"
    via u/Alternative_Ice904
  • On Friday I left on a trip with my boyfriend & friends. Friday night, she sent a picture to our roommate group chat of a huge banner that she had taken off the wall of the frat house she went to that night. I said "girl put that back" and she said "whyyyy I'm so excited about this one." I honestly felt mocked at this point so I said "you're being a
    via u/Alternative_Ice904
  • dickhead". My other roommate (call her Penny) chimed in, calling me very rude and saying its just a banner. I didn't say anything for the rest of the night, as I didn't want to be misconstrued over text.
    via u/Alternative_Ice904
  • I came home Monday to hear Penny and Hannah calling me all sorts of names. They didn't hear me come in, but I overheard so many insults about how Im a bitch and I overreacted and was just defending it because my bf is in a frat. This morning, (Tuesday) I saw the banner on our kitchen table. I folded it and put it in a pile with
    via u/Alternative_Ice904
  • her stuff in the living room. I just got a text asking me why the f I threw away her property and that she was planning on hanging it up in our living room. I said its in the corner and I would appreciate her not hanging it up. She asked me why and I kind of blew up on her saying I felt disrespected by her doing this after our conversation and that Im tired of her being a dickhead every time she drinks and I dont want a reminder hanging up.
    via u/Alternative_Ice904
  • My roommates said I took it too far and she should be able to hang it up but tbh this is just a buildup of things that have been frustrating me. So I have to know if this was a valid crashout or if I am overreacting and I was an asshole to her and should "let her live and party"
    via u/Alternative_Ice904

  • Commenters weighed in with their opinions.

    . Popular_Pair_6124 · 14h ago NTA: I'd actually go and give it back and get them to say that someone saw her doing it and they traced her back to your place and get them to put get on a blacklist for frat parties
    via u/Popular_Pair_6124
  • Two fraternity brothers contemplate a table full of red solo cups.
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Rotten_gemini • 14h ago Nta you need to tell the fraternity that she's stealing from what's she's doing so they can whatever measures they find appropriate for themselves
    via u/Rotten_gemini
  • Syveril 14h ago NTA. Your roommate is a literal criminal. You're normal for not wanting evidence plastered up where you live.
    via u/Syveril
  • • Weekly-Bumblebe... 13h ago Do you really need this drama in your senior year? Your priorities don't align, but you're almost done with school, why try to mother a sloppy roommate? You're not TA for calling her a dckhead. YWBTA if you escalate from here.
    via u/Weekly-Bumblebee6348
  • Let her deal with any consequences and ignore the feelings of injustice if there are none. Focus on your own success!
    via u/Weekly-Bumblebee6348
  • Abystract-ism • 14h ago . NTA. Does she have kleptomania? Does she shoplift too? She is a petty thief and that's not a cool thing to be.
    via u/Abystract-ism
  • Merely_Dreaming • 14h ago NTA but you should've reported it the first time she did it to the fraternities she stole the items from and to the university.
    via u/Merely_Dreaming
  • NTA. Tell her to hang the evidence of her kleptomania in her own room. If she hangs it in the living room invite your boyfriend over and see what happens from there. Maybe the word will get back to that frat house. I would also address how they were talking about you behind your back.
    via u/Merely_Dreaming
  • SenseAndSaruman • 13h ago Tell the frat guys to come get their stuff back and maybe take a couple of her things. too.
    via u/SenseAndSaruman
  • • Pkfrompa 13h ago NTA Find a way to confidentially report her for theft (and don't tell anyone you're doing it.) Unfortunately, you're probably stuck with your roomies until the end of the school year but at least you're a senior. Let them be beeyotches, you can't stop them anyway. Focus on your own stuff and let them be miserable.
    via u/Pkfrompa
  • hellabob420 11h ago . NTA. Either return the items and let them know who took them or report it to the police/ campus police.
    via u/hellabob420
  • Bey_World_101 • 5h ago NTA. Report her for stealing. If she continues this, she'll be in big trouble and will end up getting kicked out or arrested.
    via u/Bey_World_101
  • IngolfIronspear . 3h ago Nah, just act normal like you didn't hear anything and go have a word with the Dean under the pretense you got a coffee date with your bf. What they're doing is giving your college/university a bad rap. Theft is theft no matter how big or small.
    via u/IngolfIronspear
  • ulalumelenore • 2h ago NTA except for keeping her stealing secret. Also, did she seriously call it HER property? Because, you know, it isn't. If your housing has some kind of affiliation with the school, explore that. It is seriously messed up that she thinks. stealing is just fun.
    via u/ulalumelenore
  • Honestly, I'd consider telling your boyfriend, complete with the picture.... He may be able to spread the word that she's doing this. Some public shaming might do her good. NTA.
    via u/ulalumelenore

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